man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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