You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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