Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
