I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
