I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
