The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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