im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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