three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
