I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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