Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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