I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
