i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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