C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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