Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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