i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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