i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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