So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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