By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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