Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
