Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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