He is such a slut. More and more my type.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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