CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
