My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
