how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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