My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
it was like eating out sand paper
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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