i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
