We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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