Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
