He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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