That's when you crack a 10am beer
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize