I wish I could punch you in the face.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's rum buckets o'clock
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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