I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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