Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
