so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
