Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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