if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
