i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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