I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
