somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize