grandma shit on top of the toilet
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
