just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Still dying that you shit outside
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
