you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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