Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize