Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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