Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
