So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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