is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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