need another drink. this is the easiest way
Me. At least after what I've been through.
it hurts more in the daytime
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
