i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
