Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
