I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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