Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize
