It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
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