no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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