"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
