He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Rumble strips road head = magical
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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