its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
