she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
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