i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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