I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
