And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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