Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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